Dear Lance Randall Koenig Jr.,

I’m a little late but..

♥Happy 1 year anniversary♥

I love you. And that is the best way to express these feelings. It’s simple, and so common to say I love you right now. But, I love you. In the purest, truest, most beautiful way possible. You are so precious, and I love you. 

We’ve been having one of those harsh ups and downs recently.. but I swear I never want to live without you. I get crazy and all my emotions mess with my head, but I can’t imagine my life without you. Or.. I do, and I pretend like it’d be fine.. but I know it won’t be. You are my everything, and I know that I am your everything. I want us to hurry up and leave this weird tensions we’ve been having and be happy again.. You’re the only one that could make me truly happy. At the same time, you’re the only one that could make me really depressed. And I’m ashamed to say that without you, I have no true emotions. People always say that you shouldn’t depend your happiness on somebody else. But you are my happiness, and I don’t know how to calm these feelings. If I can’t depend on you for being happy, why am I with you? I’m with you because I know you could make me happy, and I trust you enough to depend on you for my happiness. That is why I love you. 

I love you, Lance Randall Koenig Jr. 
You are my thoughts, my emotions, the only place I could stand strong. 

I can’t believe it’s almost our real anniversary o:
This is my longest relationship I ever had, and ever will have. I know that it isn’t healthy to only depend on you for my happiness, but I don’t even care because honestly you’re all I need.
Well.. I still need some of my friends but you know what I mean. (x
Like I was saying, I admit that I am really shallow and picky when it comes to a relationship. And not to sound like a bitch, my past relationships didn’t satisfy me, so I couldn’t satisfy them. I’m not talking about looks or any type of physical attractions. I’m picky about their personality, who they are, what they like, etc. 
For example, talking back to some flaws from my past REAL relationships..
My first love was way too immature, and I really couldn’t keep up after a certain point.  He was pretty stuck up, and I didn’t like seeing him looking down on people.
This other guy.. he changed when he started drinking. Forced me to drink, and got angry when I didn’t.  Always assumed that I was upset when I didn’t do what he wanted me to do. And my last boyfriend always brought back my past. I never felt like he appreciated me for ME, and what I am to him at that point.  
But you, absolutely no flaws. There might be some, but it never bothers me like it did when I was in my past relationships. Andd no, I noticed those flaws during the relationship, it didn’t just come after we ended. So it’s really a weird feeling for me to have someone with no flaws at all.
That’s probably why I can love you more and more each day. People often say they accept their lover’s flaws, and that’s what love is. But what is it if I can’t find any flaws at all? I think that’s what love is.. you just love them too much that flaws aren’t even flaws anymore, so you don’t even notice it. Does that make sense?

The past couple of weeks have been pretty hard because of all the emotions building up. We both said things that we didn’t mean, didn’t think enough before acting the way we did, and blamed each other for the smallest, most stupidest things. I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew that I was taking you for granted. Unlike a lot of the long-distance couples around us which I respect and look up to, we have a lot of time to spend together. So much time we could be spending together happy, we end up arguing and wasting our time. We were blessed with a lot of time together that we should be using to build up our love, but we never truly appreciate all these ‘time’ we are given. 
The past few nights I spent with you was our little practice for our future when we could finally live together. We spent 6 whole nights together with just the two of us. I was so happy, and I loved being able to sleep with you every night and wake up to you every morning. But I also noticed that spending a lot of time together makes it harder for us to not argue, when we both know we never want to do that. All I ever want is to just be happy with you all the time, and I hate it when we waste our time getting upset. If I wasn’t so stubborn, none of these arguments would’ve happened. You always make me happy, and you are the only one that could make me feel this way, but I still manage to get in the way of my own happiness by having too much anger problems. I still don’t understand how you could keep up with this, but I love you for doing it. 
Every given time that we could spend together is the best present I could ever receive. Years from now when we’re married, I could think back and all I’d remember is that day we had our first kiss under the stars, when you held my hand the next day at the beach, when I stayed at your house when I barely knew you, when we stood 20 minutes outside in the cold until you had the guts to ask me out. The first time I saw you on stage as my boyfriend, those moments where we knew we were finally getting comfortable with each other, the awkward moments that we wrote down in our notebook. When I asked if you liked me, and you finally replied with an I love you, when we pinky promised that we’d get married a year from then, when we tattooed our promise. All the walks we had talking about everything, discovering the way to my roof, the way you stare at me and tell me that I’m beautiful, the way I just can’t stop staring into your eyes. All the love I gave you, all the love you gave me. And then I’d realize all over again that I never need anything from you. All I need for me to be happy is for me to live, so I could have the time to spend with you. I don’t need your love, because being with you would let me automatically feel it. We met, and we are together now because there was already this love between us. Even when we’re angry, it is always here. Even when we can’t express it properly, it is always here. As long as we cherish our time, there is no way we can’t feel each other’s love. Even if you do have to go far away, our time wouldn’t disappear. Our love wouldn’t disappear. I don’t want anything from you, and I don’t need anything. Just spend this time with me for you, and I will spend this time with you for me. Then maybe we could stay in love forever.

These past three days were amazing.

I love sleeping with you all cuddled up, waking up in the middle of the night to stare at your cute baby face while tickling your armpit to laugh at your reactions. Talking about our crazy dreams while we wash our face and brush our teeth with the same toothbrush. Making breakfast, and eating outside when the weather is warm and sunny. Going back to bed to cuddle some more, and pretend that we’re cats with no other care in the world. Going on a late movie run, and constantly cuddling. You making me hot tea because I was sick, and singing me to sleep because I was scared and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep.. and of course, I slept after the first song. Being able to talk to you whenever I wanted to, waiting home alone until you came back home to cuddle me, being nudists and playing tag running all over the house, you carrying me everywhere because I’m too lazy to walk, hfieajfeafoiejaio waaaaaaaaaaaaah. Just everything. I loved everything about it. I love you so much, and I can’t wait until we can do this every single night. 

I really need to start posting more here..

I love you Lance. <3

I love

when you slightly raise your hand to wave at me
when you hug me so tightly
when you bury your head in my chest, or my armpits
when you kiss me with a grin on your face, with chinky eyes
when you smile at me with your perfect teefs
when you sing to me, even after I fall asleep
when you hug me like a teddy bear
when you make me hug you like a teddy bear
when you curl up in my arms telling me that I’m warm
when you play the guitar
when you randomly start singing Kara
when you flick the strings on my panties unconsciously
when you whine and become a cute little baby
when you carry me everywhere when I’m too lazy to move
when you let me sleep in your bed taking up most of the space
when you tell me my during-sleep farts are cute
when you make me food
when you randomly fall asleep 
when you become super immaturely horny
when you teach me things
when you tell me how cute I am
when you make me feel pretty
when you tell me you love me, because

you.